


Team Six's Accidental Double Date

by Starship_Phoenix



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU Legacy - Freeform, Getting Together, Humor, Liberal use of Italics, M/M, fic of a fic, liberal use of the word "boundaries"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starship_Phoenix/pseuds/Starship_Phoenix
Summary: This fic takes place in the world of ANBU Legacy, and won’t make much sense if you haven’t read it. Go read that first, cry about how good it is, and then come back.Raidou finally gets over himself and he and Genma try to spend some quality time together. He should have known the rookies would find some way to screw up his perfect plan.





	Team Six's Accidental Double Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saunterleftside](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saunterleftside/gifts), [Nezuko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nezuko/gifts), [aubreyli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aubreyli/gifts), [Kilerkki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilerkki/gifts).



> This is complete crack, is probably inaccurate in several ways (you sort of have to ignore the fact that sensing chakra is a thing at all) and it’s probably at least a little bit ooc, but it’s pure wish fulfillment and I had a blast writing it, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

It took a mission from hell for Raidou to realize that he couldn’t waste his time worrying about _boundaries_ when the line between breathing and oblivion was thinner than razor wire.

Of course, every ANBU mission came from hell, and Team Six’s missions were more hellish than most, so maybe he was just looking for an excuse.

But seeing Genma bleeding out. Not being able to do anything except hold his teammate’s hand and pray that backup would arrive quicker than the reaper.

That was hell.

But still. _Boundaries._

Boundaries were important (his hand is gripped tight in Genma’s) and they existed for a reason (he hasn’t left Genma’s bedside since they returned to Konoha) and he couldn’t just ignore that fact because he had _feelings_ (Genma’s hand twitches and Raidou’s heart lurches in response).

_Someone_ on this godforsaken team had to follow the rules. There had to be _some_ semblance of order and stability and-

Genma’s eyes fluttered open and settled on Raidou.

Relief crashed down on Raidou like a breaking wave and the next thing he knew his lips were pressed to Genma’s; dry and chapped but _alive_ and _kissing him back_. Raidou lost himself for a minute before he remembered where they were. The hospital. Because Genma had nearly _died_.

Raidou pulled back. Genma was breathing heavily, and Raidou felt suddenly ashamed. He wasn’t sure if anyone had so casually thrown boundaries out the window before. Not only had he made a move on his subordinate, he had made a move on his _injured_ subordinate. That was wrong on so many levels he wasn’t even sure where to start-

“Raidou.” Genma’s voice was stern (but weak and hoarse. Because he had nearly _died.)_ “You’re overthinking things.”

“I-”

“I’ve been wanting you to do that for _months_. You _know_ that, right?”

Of _course_ Raidou knew that. But _boundaries_. He looked into Genma’s eyes.

“I’m…glad you’re okay,” Raidou said, after a lengthy silence. _Glad you’re alive_ was the unspoken meaning.

“Me too,” Genma said with a soft smile.

-

A few days later Genma was finally out of the hospital and Team Six had one week before they had to be back and reporting for regular duty as a squad and Raidou was not about to waste this chance. He and Genma had _plans_ and it was going to be _great._

After all, everyone knew that ‘fit for duty’ was code for ‘you can have sex and not worry about accidently killing your partner.’

Raidou wasn’t sure what Kakashi and Ryouma were doing with their week off, and to be honest, he didn’t want to know. He cared deeply for them as comrades, (maybe more than was smart or healthy), but as long as they weren’t doing anything stupid that would make _him_ look bad, and as long as he didn’t have to bail them out of jail, they could prance naked on the Hokage’s stone heads for all he cared.

He and Genma were going far away from Konoha and they were going to forget about duties and responsibilities and reckless teammates and _maybe_ even boundaries for at _least_ two whole days. And they were going to have enough sex to last them until either death or their next vacation, whichever came first.

-

Genma had first heard of the place from Ginta, which had left Raidou more than a bit apprehensive. Raidou had heard rumors about this place over the years, but they were just that. Rumor. Nobody openly acknowledged its existence because the first to do so would be forever shunned for ruining a good thing for everyone else. It meant that its existence was a secret shared only among close friends and trusted colleagues, and so until Ginta had confirmed its existence, Raidou hadn’t really believed in it.

As they approached the main building, Raidou couldn’t feel anything off about the place, despite how deserted it was. They were a few hours from Konoha as the shinobi runs, in a small resort village in the mountains with a hot spring large enough to capitalize on but small enough that there were better options available if you were looking for that sort of thing. They passed boarded up seasonal shops and small family restaurants on their way to the main resort, which was nestled at the far end of the valley. Shinobi had no reason to come out here, which is why it was the perfect place for shinobi to retreat to when Konoha’s walls pressed too tightly around them and they needed somewhere to breathe. Or, as Genma had paraphrased, quoting Ginta, “fuck without prying eyes.”

This was the best kept non-secret in Konoha. What happened at the couple’s spa stayed at the couple’s spa.

Raidou desperately hoped that was true.

-

“There’s only one other couple here at the moment,” the woman at the front desk said as she handed them matching keys. “It’s the off season so we don’t get much traffic. This time of year, most people would rather be somewhere with a nice sea breeze. What brought you to a hot spring in the height of Fire Country summer, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Ah,” Raidou said, wracking his brain to come up with something that fit their cover story. “I’m afraid the ocean doesn’t agree with me.”

Genma snorted. Raidou maintained a straight face. The woman smiled, oblivious.

“Well then, enjoy your stay!”

Raidou mirrored her smile and thanked her for her hospitality and he and Genma made their way down a long hallway to their room.

“The ocean doesn’t agree with you?” Genma said with a chuckle, “that’s an understatement.”

Raidou thought of sharks and death and blood and had to agree with Genma’s assessment.

“That receptionist was friendly,” Raidou said instead. This was supposed to be a _vacation_ and he wasn’t going to ruin it by dragging up bad memories.

Their room was small but cozy, with a sturdy looking bed and a large window with a nice view of the sprawling valley. The mountain flowers were in full bloom and swaying in the gentle summer breeze. The light from the setting sun haloed Genma’s golden hair.

It was taking everything in him not to jump Genma right there, but they had run a long way to get here and the idea of soaking in warm water, soothing his tense muscles, and just relaxing a bit was too tempting to pass up. It was sappy, but Raidou wanted this to be special. They only had a small window of time where they could be normal people. Only a short time before they had to go back to Konoha and missions and _boundaries_.

Raidou supposed that after months of pining he and Genma deserved to savor a bit of romance.

-

Raidou hoped that the other couple was in their room, because he kind of wanted the hot spring and Genma to himself.

He should have known better.

Raidou could hear voices on the other side of the wall as he and Genma undressed, but the warm water was calling his name and he wasn’t about to back out. He had checked the mission roster before they left, and it was highly unlikely that anyone that knew them or even knew _of_ them would be here. _What happens at the couple’s spa stays at the couple’s spa,_ he reminded himself. He distracted himself from his anxiety by drinking in the sight of Genma’s lean muscles. His skin was smooth save for the new scars, which were still fresh and red. Raidou was suddenly overtaken by the memory of pressing his hands against the wound, of attempting to hold in the blood. Of Genma passing out and Raidou not knowing if he would wake up again.

The sound of a soft slap from outside shook him from his memory, followed by a lot of frantic splashing and muffled yells. Almost like one person was trying to drown another. Raidou’s instincts kicked in and his first thought was _a nearly deserted spa would be a good place to murder someone and not get caught._ And then when the muffled yells turned to laughter, his second thought was _how old are they, twelve?_

Genma looked over at Raidou, curiosity lighting his face, and Raidou slid open the door with a shrug. The splashing ceased. Raidou saw one head vanish underwater before he could make out any distinguishing features, but he recognized the second immediately.

“Tousaki?”

“Captain?” Ryouma said in a strangled voice.

“Tousaki?” Genma said, stepping around Raidou.

“Lieutenant?” Ryouma said squeakily, a mix of panic and confusion in his voice. His eyes were wide, like a rabbit caught in a snare, flicking between Raidou and Genma as if trying to determine whether this was some sort of trap or test. Had Raidou and Genma not been standing before him nearly naked, save for the towels around their waists, Raidou wouldn’t blame him for thinking this was a trick. But he and Genma _were_ nearly naked, and Raidou was sure that whatever panic and confusion Ryouma was experiencing, his own was infinitely worse. Raidou shot a helpless glance at Genma, but Genma was frowning at the ripples of water where Ryouma’s companion had vanished.

“Who’s here with you?” Genma asked. Raidou wasn’t sure if that was the most pressing issue, here. His instincts were screaming “ _boundaries!”_ so loud he couldn’t focus on anything else except scrambling to find some sort of explanation that didn’t require Raidou to confess that he had trampled over his own self-imposed rules with reckless abandon. Of _course_ Ryouma would be the first one to find out. Karma had a nasty sense of humor.

While Raidou had been freaking out about boundaries, Ryouma had been looking at the empty space next to him, puzzlement temporarily wiping the fear off his face. Then Ryouma looked up at Genma and Raidou, clearly thinking hard and fast.

“Uh. Nobody? I came here by myself.”

Genma raised an eyebrow. Raidou was still trying to find his voice. _Boundaries!_ His inner voice screamed again.

“Really,” Genma said, sounding amused, “I could have sworn I heard two people talking and splashing around like children seconds before we came out here.”

To Ryouma’s credit, he didn’t back down.

“It was a clone.”

He said it with such conviction that Raidou half believed him. But Genma wasn’t going to let it slide.

“A clone?”

Ryouma nodded harder than was strictly necessary.

“A clone,” he echoed.

“You came all the way out here to take a bath with a clone?”

Ryouma paused for a second, jaw hanging slightly open as he scrambled for a response. If it meant keeping Ryouma’s thoughts off why his superior officers were at a couple’s spa, Genma could interrogate Ryouma all night. But Ryouma would soon crack under the combined stares of his officers. Hopefully before the hole he was digging himself into stretched all the way to Kumo, because the secondhand embarrassment Raidou was catching was almost _painful_.

“Well you see,” Ryouma started before getting cut off. The surface of the water rippled, and a head peaked out. Ryouma sagged in relief.

Raidou wasn’t sure how many more shocks he could take before his brain started to refuse to believe what he was seeing. Maybe this was a waking nightmare. Or a genjutsu. That made sense, he _had_ been slacking in his practice lately, what with worrying over Genma. It was the only explanation for why his two rookies were at a couple’s spa. _Together._ Beside him, Genma groaned and put his face in his hands.

“Sorry, Ryouma,” Kakashi said, not sounding sorry at all. “But I couldn’t listen to it anymore. That was some _truly_ godawful lying. Honestly. I’ve heard better lies from _Naruto._ A clone? Really?”

Ryouma playfully shoved Kakashi. Raidou’s brain was still trying to figure out if this was a hallucination. Genma was standing silently as well, staring at the rookies with a baffled look on his face. At least Raidou wasn’t alone in his confusion.

“Oh fuck you,” Ryouma told Kakashi, not entirely seriously, “at least I didn’t _hide_. Like a _coward_.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“You would have hidden too, if your reflexes were faster.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t translocate,” Ryouma shot back.

Kakashi looked at Ryouma like he was an idiot.

“I wasn’t about to _abandon_ you,” he said hotly.

Ryouma looked taken aback by this, then softened as he smiled gently at Kakashi.

Raidou finally found his voice and after clearing his throat to get the rookies’ attention, asked, “Why are you here?” It came out a little weaker than he intended. It was supposed to be his Captain’s Voice. It came out more like he was accusing them of ruining his birthday party.  

“I could ask you the same question, _Captain_.” Kakashi retorted, his gaze flickering meaningfully between Raidou and Genma.

Kakashi’s defensive attitude was familiar ground. Raidou could work with that. He pushed aside the realization that he _would_ have to answer Kakashi’s question at some point and instead leveled his most serious stare at his teammates.

“That’s right. I _am_ your captain. And that’s why you’re going to tell me what’s going on. Before I drag you back to Konoha and make you fill out paperwork for the rest of your days off.”

Ryouma and Kakashi glanced at each other and Raidou watched as the two of them conducted an entire silent argument with only their eyes. Or eye, in Kakashi’s case. It was, if he was being honest, a little impressive.

“We’re not doing anything that is _technically_ against any rules,” Ryouma said when their eye debate had concluded. “Well, official rules, anyway,” he added with a slightly guilty look at Raidou.

“That wasn’t my question,” Raidou responded. He had a horrible feeling he knew what was going on but making that assumption was a huge leap down a slippery slope and Raidou wasn’t about to throw himself over the ledge if he didn’t have to. _Boundaries_ his mind screamed at him. _Boundaries._

“And what is it that you _were_ doing?” Genma asked.

“Having a bath, obviously,” Kakashi responded innocently.

“A bath. At a couple’s spa several hours from Konoha?”

“Well you know Kakashi, he’s so antisocial,” Ryouma said casually, like it was a normal thing for people to travel hours from home to take a bath at a public resort where anyone could find them in order to avoid interacting with people.

Actually, that kind of backwards logic was _exactly_ how Kakashi’s brain worked.

Maybe Raidou’s assumption wasn’t so slippery after all.  Maybe this _was_ just two teammates who wanted to spend some quiet time with each other.

At a couple’s spa.

Yeah, and maybe he and Genma _hadn’t_ planned on having some truly spectacular sex that night.

Well. They certainly wouldn’t be _now,_ that’s for sure. Not with the rookies down the hall. In hearing distance. _Damn_ them for unknowingly maintaining Raidou’s boundaries for him. Genma was the more spiritual one, but Raidou couldn’t help but feel this was the universe saying, “I told you so.”

The awkward silence was broken by one of the resort’s staff members peeking his head outside.

“If you need anything, let us know!” he said in an entirely too chipper voice. “And don’t forget that tonight is our Massages and Movies night! You’re all still planning on attending, right?”

Kakashi gave an awkward cough and sunk a little deeper into the water until only his eyes and hair were above water. Ryouma’s face turned bright red. Genma looked like he was trying very hard not to react but had overcompensated by somehow feeling every possible emotion in existence.

Raidou would like to wake up from this nightmare, thank you very much.

The staff member seemed not to notice the tension in the air. “Alright then, I’ll leave you to it!”

And then it was just Raidou and Genma and Ryouma and Kakashi. His team.

_Boundaries!_

He took a deep breath. Looked at Genma, who was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. Looked at Ryouma, who was staring intently anywhere but his officers. Looked at Kakashi, who looked seconds away from bolting.

He sighed.

“How long?” Raidou asked.

Kakashi and Ryouma looked at each other. Another silent conversation.

“Since the tanuki dimension,” Ryouma finally said, sounding more hesitant than he had in a long time.

Raidou thought back, then nodded. It made sense. After all, he and Genma and Kurenai had very nearly…he almost couldn’t even blame them. (Part of him felt intensely jealous. If it weren’t for his self-imposed _boundaries…_ )

“And you?” Kakashi asked, redirecting the conversation away from himself and snapping Raidou out of imagining the threesome that almost was. Classic Kakashi. Raidou had _several_ things he wanted to ask them, but he supposed he owed them an explanation as well. Lack of communication had proven to be this team’s downfall before.  

Raidou looked at Genma, who gave him a silent look that said, “you’re the one with the issues, not me.”

But what was Raidou supposed to say? Really, besides the mutual pining, all they had shared was a handful kisses. The one when Genma first woke up in the hospital, the one where Raidou tried to apologize for the hundredth for overstepping his bounds and Genma had told him to shut up, and the one that had almost led to something more before a paralyzing fear took hold of Raidou because _boundaries_.

And then Genma had proposed this trip and he looked so hopeful and Raidou had found himself saying ‘ _yes_ ’ because he couldn’t bear to say no.

“Recently,” he said, in a tone of voice he hoped would prevent further discussion. The rookies didn’t need to know the specifics. Raidou certainly didn’t want to know the specifics of what Kakashi and Ryouma had done. _Boundaries_ his mind whimpered.

Kakashi nodded, satisfied with the answer. Raidou supposed Kakashi didn’t really want to know specifics either, he’d just wanted confirmation.

“So now what?” Ryouma asked.

Raidou blinked in surprise. Ryouma was right. Now what.

“Well I’m not leaving,” Kakashi said. “The Captain and Lieutenant can do whatever they want, but I paid for a full weekend and I am getting my money’s worth.”

“That’s not what I meant, Kakashi,” Ryouma said.

“No,” Genma said, “Kakashi’s right. We paid for a full weekend. No sense in wasting money.” Genma glanced at Raidou. “Right?”

Raidou’s brain was at war with itself. One the one hand, Genma, and sex with Genma. On the other, _boundaries and rookies and boundaries_.

It was a close fight but Genma won out.

“We can figure things out when we get back home,” Raidou told them. He hoped he was making the right call. He hoped that being selfish for one day wouldn’t backfire on him. On the team. “For now, let’s try to enjoy ourselves. We have a week off, let’s not waste it.”

Kakashi looked suddenly doubtful, and Raidou realized that he had probably been hoping that the _boundaries_ would win and he and Genma would leave so that Kakashi and Ryouma could be alone. That was a smart play. It very nearly worked.

Ryouma still looked a little nervous, but when he realized he wasn’t in immediate trouble, he relaxed. Raidou felt himself relax as well. He had been worried that Ryouma would somehow feel offended at Raidou breaking his boundaries rule for Genma, but it seemed as if he wasn’t holding a grudge. That was good. This was good. Nobody had died or exploded or killed anyone, so Raidou had to count it as a success.

-

After a slightly awkward soak in the hot spring, with everyone sitting five feet apart from each other, and a forced conversation about the best place to buy shoes, Ryouma and Kakashi excused themselves, citing empty stomachs.

Raidou watched the door slide shut behind them and then let out a breath.

“Well that was something.”

“That’s an understatement,” Genma said for the second time that day.

Raidou laughed and leaned his head back.

“Things will work out,” Genma said, sliding closer to Raidou now that the rookies were gone. “Who knows, this might even be a good thing.”

Raidou looked at Genma, eyebrows practically in his hairline.

“Seriously!” Genma said. “We’re going to have to be careful, and keep an eye on them, but I do think they’ll be good for each other. As long as they don’t self-destruct, which, let’s be honest, has always been a concern with them, relationship or not. And,” he added, placing a hand on Raidou’s chest, “we can be hypocrites all we want now.”

“You make a good point,” Raidou said, and leaned in for a kiss.

-

Later, Genma and Raidou made their way to the in-house movie theater. Instead of normal theater seats, the floor was covered in soft mats and pillows. Either Kakashi and Ryouma had decided not to come or they were running late, because the room was empty. Raidou and Genma picked a particularly fluffy pillow near the middle of the room and settled down to wait for the movie to start. Apparently, the resort staff had allowed Kakashi and Ryouma to pick out a movie, since they had been the only people in the building at the time. On their way to the theater, a nervous looking staff person asked Raidou and Genma if they were ok with violent action movies. Genma assured them that it would be okay, and Raidou struggled not to laugh at the relief that was evident on the staff member’s face.

Of course Kakashi and Ryouma would go for a violent action movie. He shouldn’t have expected anything else.

Raidou didn’t think there would be much massaging going on at this “Massages and Movies Night,” but just being in Genma’s company, feeling Gemna’s warm body heat pressed up against his, it was more than he ever thought he’d allow himself.

Genma laced his fingers through Raidou’s, and Raidou squeezed his hand reassuringly.

Yeah. He could do this.

Raidou heard Kakashi and Ryouma walk in as the opening credits faded off the screen. They sat down somewhere behind Raidou and Genma, whispering to each other.

Raidou turned around and glared at them.

“Are you two going to talk the whole movie?”

Kakashi glared back. Ryouma mimed zipping his lips closed. Raidou turned back around. Genma was holding back laughter, body shaking against Raidou’s.

Kakashi’s hair had looked a little messier than usual, Raidou thought.

_Boundaries._ His mind reminded him.

He focused on the movie screen, where someone was already dying in a very bloody and gruesome manner.

“Oh come on,” Genma said. “They obviously didn’t put a lot of research into how bones break.”

“You too?” Did nobody appreciate the sanctity of the quiet theater?

“Quiet in the front!” Ryouma yelled from behind them.

Raidou’s shinobi instincts were what allowed him to turn around fast enough to catch the small object that Kakashi had thrown at his head. Raidou looked at the crushed popcorn kernel in his hand. He saw Ryouma raise a bowl with a cocky grin.

Genma laughed.

“You two can sit closer to us, we’re not going to stab you. No use yelling back and forth, right?”

Ryouma smiled and dragged Kakashi with him to the middle of the room. He sat down next to Genma, and Kakashi sat down on his other side. Raidou saw Ryouma scooch so that his knee was just barely touching Kakashi’s, but Kakashi didn’t pull away. Raidou smiled. Maybe Genma was right. Maybe, for once, things would go right.

There was another horribly inaccurate murder on screen, and Raidou heard Kakashi laugh. A real one, not a scoff, or an ironic chuckle. A real laugh.

Genma leaned into Raidou. “I told you,” he said softly.

“What happened to boundaries?” Ryouma said jokingly.

“Don’t test me, Tousaki,” Raidou said, reaching over Genma to snag a handful of popcorn. “You’re not in trouble at the moment, but we’re still going to have a long talk when we get back.”

“Yes sir!” Ryouma said hastily.

“You too, Hatake,” Genma added. “We’re having a _team talk_.”

“Yessir,” Kakashi mumbled.

They settled into silence, save for the occasional munching on popcorn and Kakashi and Genma muttering under their breaths about the many inaccuracies of the film.

“So how did you two even hear about this place?” Genma asked as a third victim died on the screen.

Ryouma shrugged. “Ask Kakashi. I asked around for _weeks_ trying to get someone to even admit this place was _real_. And the day after I told Kakashi about it he came up to me and told me he knew where it was. I assumed he’d blackmailed it out of someone or something.”

Raidou didn’t feel like unpacking that statement at the moment. He shoveled some more popcorn into his mouth.

“I know everything,” was Kakashi’s response.

“No, seriously,” Genma pressed. “Who thought it was a good idea to tell you?” Raidou agreed. Who was dumb enough to tell _Hatake Kakashi_ of all people about the secret shinobi sex spa?

“Who says anyone told me?”

“ _Hatake_ ,” Raidou said.

“Alright fine. Since you asked so nicely. Sensei and Kushina used to come out here all the time. I followed them one time, just far enough to realize where they were going.”

“Wait,” Ryouma said, “you knew about this place the whole time? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Forgive me for attempting to repress the image of my sensei and his wife having sex, Ryouma. I had forgotten about this place until you mentioned the rumors.”

“You mean the _Hokage_ came here for-”

“ _Ryouma_ ,” Kakashi growled. “ _Don’t say another word_. I’d like to be able to sleep tonight. _Please_.”

Great. Now Raidou wasn’t going to be able to have sex without wondering if it was the same bed that the Hokage had impregnated his wife in.

-

The credits rolled and Ryouma gave an exaggerated yawn. He and Kakashi wished Raidou and Genma a good night and they left, not quite hand in hand, but shoulder to shoulder, fingers brushing.

“So,” Raidou said when he was sure they were out of hearing range, “want to test out the bed?”

Genma smiled and Raidou felt his heart skip a beat.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> This may be the fastest a fic has gone from conception to published for me. A little over 24 hours from start to finish. That’s how much I love this team and want them to be happy:’)
> 
> Anyway, this came about thanks to the unofficial Legacy discord, and me saying this: “you know what would be highly unlikely and is complete crack but would super funny? Somehow raidou gets over himself and he and genma start secretly dating and they have a week off so they go to some far out of the way couples resort spa where nobody from konoha will spot them and they get there and kakashi and ryouma are there because they had the same idea and then it's the spiderman pointing meme with all four of them pointing at each other and going "you???????"”
> 
> And then several persons encouraged me to write it so I did.


End file.
